I’m going in to my former place of employment tomorrow, to visit people. And because it’s the holidays, I’m taking in some cookies. My original plan was for snickerdoodles, but then I was flipping through Ann Hodgman’s Beat This! while I was in the bathroom (yes, I read cookbooks in the bathroom. I also keep the King Arthur Flour Baker’s Catalogue in there, like its porn) and I came across her recipe for Chocolate Cookies.

Now, I’m not usually a fan of the chocolate chocolate chip cookie – despite my love of chocolate, I actually do think there can be such a thing as too much chocolate in a cookie (but not in a brownie). But this recipe kept calling out to me: “Amanda…bake me…bake me!” (grammatically, I suppose it really should be “bake us,” if it’s the cookies that are talking, but “bake me” is funnier. Trust me – say it to yourself in a high-pitched, cartoonish voice.).

So I mixed up the dough and I’ve baked two dozen so far (I’ll do more in the morning.

Dude. These are like if a chocolate chip cookie and flourless chocolate cake started procreating. I’ve had four of them.

In other food-type news, in continuing to create my imaginary neighborhood (my own Land of Make Believe, where instead of Trolley riding past the castle it’s the Red Line?), I want Anthony Bourdain to be my landlord. Because when his “activities” kept me up at night, I’d just have to bang on the ceiling and shout a few obscenities, he’d shout a few back, and we’d go to brunch the next day and get hammered.

Yeah…Landlord/Mrs. Landlord were at it again last night, though earlier than usual – around 11:30.  I said before I wouldn’t describe the noise, but last night…it was a cross between a sneeze and a dog barking.

I’m trying to figure out how to use this to my advantage…what exactly to say and how to say it to make them wonder did she really hear us? and embarrass them just enough so I can be justly compensated for having to listen/picture it. Like letting me have a kitty. Or a dishwasher.

And if I’m going to bake cookies, let them cool/set up, shower, maybe do a load of laundry, and get into Boston tomorrow all by early afternoon, I should probably get to bed. On a completely unrelated note, donations are currently being accepted for the Help Amanda Upgrade to TiVo Premiere Fund.

 

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