To all of my friends/loved ones who have lost weight recently:

Stop it. Stop it RIGHT NOW.

While I am proud of you (assuming that you are proud of yourself, of course), do you know where all that lost weight of yours has gone?

MY HIPS.

It is somehow finding its way across time and space to me. And I certainly don’t need it or want it.

So please stop losing weight, or find a more deserving recipient of your donations (just pick some skinny Hollywood bitch).

Thank you,

Amanda

 

(PS – as usual, my chest is accepting donations…doesn’t seem to get much, though…)

Advertisements