So The Rapture is supposed to be happening on Saturday. Now, I think you know me well enough by now to know that I don’t believe it one bit. But you also know that I am open-minded and fascinated by comparative religion. So I actually do give thought to, hmmm…what if? I start wondering if things will start to turn around for me this weekend. I wonder what Judgement Day really would be like.

As I don’t believe in it, I don’t think I would be taken (while a lot of Catholic culture is permanently ingrained in me, whether I want it to be or not, I really have never considered myself to be a Christian. Not even when I was a regularly practicing Catholic.). But then I started thinking…personal beliefs aside, I know I’m a good person. And what if that’s the main criteria? What if they (whoever “they” is/are) decide to take me?

I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE RAPTURE!!!

I’m serious! First of all, how many other snarky, somewhat agnostic,  uber-liberals would they be taking? I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to! And then, do you have any idea how much stuff I have to do in the next few weeks? I have an apartment to clean! My tour guide graduation on Sunday (yes, I passed my exam)! Job interviews! Tons of knitting for recently/soon-to-be born babies! Stewie’s christening! And most importantly, I have plans for the post-Rapture looting on Saturday afternoon!

But for the moment…let’s assume that I’m not going anywhere.

You have heard about the NYC Craigslist ad, right? Those in metro Boston who expect to be taken, you can leave a comment regarding any furniture, computers, home theater equipment, etc. that you want me to have. Bonus if you leave me your red Honda CR-V.

Also, I am more than willing to take in your cats and/or dogs, but this is contingent on Landlord and Mrs. Landlord being taken (leaving me with the whole house – whoo-hoo!). Though really…if animals can’t go, I don’t care if I see people beamed up to heaven right in front of me, I will become an atheist. I can not and will not believe in a God that won’t let you take your pets with you.

Coming up next on OooaR (whenever that may be): experiments with pancakes, my new favorite pasta “sauce,” and cookies that may or may not have potential.

Advertisements